Can’t you picture Morrissey penning a plaintive, brooding ode to this piccalilli, about how he could never taste piccalilli again after the last time, which was when his lover fed him some right before jilting him and then dying in a car crash? OK, maybe not.

I always listen to music while canning and “piccalilli” made me think of “Piccadilly Palare,” that song off the 1990 album Bona Drag. Both the song and the album reference polari, a kind of secret gay slang used in England in the first half of the 20th century. So I blared some old Morrissey while fashioning this relish and sense memories of suburban teen angst bubbled up. They tasted bittersweet.

Anyway, this mustardy, cauliflower-based relish is fantabulosa (that’s polari for fab, don’t you know!) quintessentially British and makes a perfect addition to any ploughman’s platter. I made it about two weeks ago from a giant cauliflower I bought at the market.

Cracked a jar open last night – nicely acidic, pronounced mustard and turmeric flavours, goes swellegantly with a grilled cheese, meat pie or any sandwich, really.

Piccalilli

2 lbs mixed vegetables (small cauliflower florets, chopped cucumbers, onions and green beans)

¼ cup salt

¼ cup powdered mustard

2 tbsp (30ml) turmeric

3 cups white vinegar

1.5 tsp pickling spice

3 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp cornstarch

Mix the chopped veg with the salt and allow to sweat it out for 24 hours. Then, go ahead and rinse and drain thoroughly. Mix the turmeric and mustard with a little vinegar to form a paste and add this to the rest of the vinegar along with pickling spice and sugar.

Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer, add vegetable mixture and stir, let the mixture simmer two to three minutes. Spoon into hot, clean jars, seal and process in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes. Wait at least two weeks before opening a jar, to allow flavours to fully develop.